Dear CK Family-
This time of year can be joyous and can also be difficult.
Some of us may be going through changes that challenge our disposition because we feel that we “should” be experiencing the Holidays in ways that we are not.
This year I would like to share a bit of personal history and a bit of personal growth with all of you - my extended family here in California. Lilah and I are especially appreciative of our friends here in CA because all of our family live thousands of miles away and this year we could not travel to be with them over Christmas.
As we all know, family takes on many shapes, sizes and transformations…and not always ones that we expect or welcome.
While some events in our respective families can cause us pain, I have been blessed with opportunities and people in my life who have challenged my “ideals” and helped me to better manage how long to dwell in pain caused by guilt, regret or anger.
In my own family, I have been both, a recipient and contributor of unwanted change – change that has impacted feelings of those I love and those who love me. It’s important to remember that feelings are temporary and that the amount of suffering we experience, can be controlled by our choice – how we choose to react to things that are welcome and unwelcome.
Some of you may be familiar with the story of Pollyanna Whittier, an eleven-year-old orphan whose philosophy of life centers on what she calls “The Glad Game”, an optimistic and positive attitude she learned from her father, and which originated one Christmas. The game consists of something to be glad about in every situation, no matter how bleak it may be. Worth a read this holiday season, and worth remembering its message every day of our lives.
This year I am grateful to have for the first time ever, and to share a very rare photo – one of me and 4 of my 5 siblings – all of us with the same dad, from 3 different moms. While there were brief moments of sharing the same household for some of us siblings, for the most part, one was raised by his mom as an only child, three were raised by my mom and dad, and two were raised by my dad and his current wife.
Despite the different moms, separation of households, and moments of awkwardness and pain that resulted from these life-altering family transformations, I was truly moved by the ease with which we siblings embraced each other and came together for our first shared thanksgiving.
I look forward to more opportunities to commune with the three siblings who did not share my nuclear family home.
As the probability of life gets shorter (for me), I find myself more appreciative for the moments I have to expand my circle of family and loving relationships. I wish the same for you.
Happy Holidays,
Lynna
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